For Me, Against Me, or for Yourself?
Jeremie Kubicek, President and CEO of Giant Impact, challenges us in his thoughtful book, Leadership is Dead – How Influence is Reviving It, to imagine what the effectiveness of our leadership would look like if we were truly “for others” before we were for ourselves or our organizations.
“Think about it this way: people around you are either for you, against you, or just for themselves. While there may be variations on these three motives, this concept generally holds true…
(Now) take out a sheet of paper and make a short list of the people in your life (business, home, family and so forth). Answer this question for each: ‘Is this person for me, against me, or for himself/herself?’
Revealing isn’t it? Now turn the tide. What would they say you were to them? For them, against them, or for yourself?
The reality is that the majority of people are self-centered. Rarely are people against you. It’s more that they are for themselves and totally driven by self-interest. It’s human nature. Most people I know are in survival mode day-to-day, doing whatever they can to take care of their families and their businesses and organizations. I fall into that mode, and it’s likely that you do too.
What would happen, though if you intentionally demonstrated that you were for the people on this list? You would see amazing changes transpire in the lives of those around you if they knew you were invested in their success as well as your own.
Imagine yourself becoming so significant in other people’s’ lives that you are not only memorable but also valuable to them. Imagine people believing that you want the best for them and understanding that you are for them. Imagine that they open up to you, enabling you to wield true influence and have an impact. Imagine experiencing, as a result of these things, the fulfilling relationships you’ve dreamed of at work and at home.”
A Thought from America’s Greatest Theologian
In honor of Independence Day the following is a thought from America’s greatest theologian, Jonathan Edwards.
“No notion of God’s last end in creation of the world is agreeable to reason, which would truly imply any indigence, insufficiency and mutability in God, or any dependence of the Creator on the creature for any part of his perfection or happiness.
Though it be true that God’s glory and happiness…are infinite and cannot be added to, and …(are) perfectly independent of the creature; yet it does not hence follow, nor is it true, that God has no real and proper delight, pleasure, or happiness in any of his acts or communications relative to the creature.
God has respect to himself, as his last and highest end, in this work; because he is worthy in himself to be so, being infinitely the greatest and best of beings. All things else, with regard to worthiness, importance, and excellence, are perfectly as nothing in comparison to him.
All that is ever spoken of in the Scripture as an ultimate end of God’s works is included in that one phrase, the glory of God.”
Jonathan Edwards from The End of Which God Created the World as quoted in John Piper’s God’s Passion for His Glory
Books that Gave Me Nightmares
Over the last couple of months I did something that literally gave me nightmares. I read Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy by Eric Metaxas while listening to The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich: A History of Nazi Germany by William L. Shirer.If you’re not familiar with Bonhoeffer, it’s an award-winning book about the life of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. It tells the story of this courageous resistance leader in Nazi Germany, who also happen to be a brilliant theologian, compassionate pastor, and committed follower of Jesus Christ. The story is inspiring and challenging.
On the other hand, The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich‘s considered one of the best histories of Hitler and Nazi Germany. It’s a fascinating story, filled with details, about one of the darkest times in the history of the world. Even after listening to the book, it’s still impossible for me to grasp the true evil perpetrated by Hitler and the Nazis.
But it’s where these two books intersect that I had my nightmares. I would dream on the nights after a day of listening to and reading both books. And my dreams were always the same – I stood by while people were mercilessly being killed and, by doing so, I shared the guilt of the murderers.
So I’ve become convinced that the source of these nightmares lay in the challenge of Bonhoeffer’s life, and in my doubts about my own convictions and courage – would I see evil around me and stand up to it, even it meant death? It’s a question that’s haunted my dreams, and my waking hours, over the past few months. And every morning I found myself praying “Lord, if I ever need it, please give me just an ounce of Bonhoeffer’s courage, so I too can stand against evil in this world.”
More than a Photography Lesson
This week I spent some time with one of my favorite photographers and, more importantly, favorite leaders in the world – Mark Beeson. Mark is the Senior Pastor at Granger Community Church (GCC), one of our key local church allies. Mark, the GCC staff, and their middle school students are spending the week at SpringHill experiencing their annual Granger middle school summer camp.
I snagged some time with Mark with the promises we would do a little exploring in the “backlands” so I could glean some wisdom and practical help in taking better photographs. Mark loves photography, takes incredible photos, and in particular, because he loves the outdoors, does incredible wildlife and landscape photography. So getting him out into the woods for a couple of hours wasn’t hard. And I learned a lot, most of which was basic stuff to him, but for me like gold.
Such things as:
“Always have a firm foundation for your camera.”
“What’s a few extra seconds to get the right shot?”
“Perspective is what makes a photo interesting.”
“When photographing a person’s face, capture the eyes, because everyone’s drawn to the eyes.”
“Nobody wants their picture taken, but everyone likes to look at a photo they’re in.”
“Capturing a moment in a person’s life blesses them more than we know.”
As you can see from these morsels of wisdom, my impromptu photography lesson was more than just a lesson in taking better pictures. It was a lesson on leadership because it gave me a glimpse into the perspective and the heart of this passionate and effective leader.
Click here to read Mark’s blog and see some of his photography.
Prep – Do – Review
Being the Boss – The 3 Imperatives for becoming a Great Leader by Linda A. Hill and Kent Linebeck is a helpful book for new or growing leaders. It provides both a philosophical and practical approach to leading yourself, leading your network and leading your team.
For example one of the most practical suggestions the authors give is a simple, three-step tool for tackling any kind of task or situation, called Prep – Do – Review.
The first step – “Prep. Before acting, take literally a minute to prepare. Ask yourself, What am I about do to? Why am I going to do it? (That is, what goal, no matter how simple, are you trying to reach?) Who will be involved or affected, and what are their interests? And how am I going to do it?
Step two – “Do. Perform the action you prepared to take in the prep stage.”
Finally, step three – “Review. Afterward, reflect on what was done and the outcome, including any expected or unexpected consequences. Identify the lessons to be learned. How would you perform the action differently in the future?”
As you can see one the keys to using it effectively is asking a lot of the right questions. And as Hill and Linebeck state, asking good questions is “a fundamental skill that, in our experience, all effective managers possess to a high degree.”
And the beauty of Prep – Do – Review is that it can be applied to everything from simple tasks to major events, from going through your day or week, to career planning. And, if it can become a regular part of how you work, it will undoubtedly make you a more effective leader.
Life After Graduation
“Now that you’ve finished your master’s degree what are you going to do?”
That’s the question I’ve been asked a dozen times since this past Friday when I graduated from Grand Rapids Theological Seminary. I’ve felt a bit like the Super Bowl winning quarterback when the reporter asks, “now that you’ve won the Super Bowl what are you going to do?” Of course the quarterback always answers’, “I’m going to Disney World”.
Now that’s not been my answer. Instead, if I’ve had a moment, I’ve responded by sharing all the things I’ve pushed to the “back burner” during this program, including – trout fishing on opening day, taking care of a very bad lawn, tackling the ever-growing list of house projects, and most importantly, reading what I want to read and writing what I want to write, and do so in my timing.
My Systematic Theology professors, Dr Grinnell (left) and Dr. Wittmer (right) But don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret for a moment the work, effort and commitment needed to complete this program. I gained much more than I ever anticipated in essential knowledge for my work at SpringHill (which was one of my primary goals in pursuing a seminary degree).
Plus I’ve had the satisfaction of living out, in a more formal way, one of my personal “core values” – lifelong learning. And it’s because of this core value that I’ll most deeply miss the opportunity I’ve had to sit in class, and be challenged intellectually and spiritually by both my classmates and professors.
It’s also probably why a couple of people, who know me well, have said they don’t think this will be the last of my formal education.
Well they may be right, but for now, I’m going to see if I can catch a few Brookies in the stream near our house.
The Wise, the Foolish, and the Evil
Every Thursday at lunch a number of SpringHill staff view one session of the 2011 Willow Creek Leadership Summit videos. This past Thursday we listened to Dr. Henry Cloud teach on the three different types of people in the world – the wise, the foolish and the evil, and the strategies leaders need to use for dealing with each. His talk comes directly from one of the chapters in his most recent and insightful book – “Necessary Endings“.
After finishing the video we had a short debrief about what we learned, what new thoughts we each had and what challenged us. Ironically, the one challenge we all shared was that, as we watched, we all asked ourselves “which person have I been or am I now?” For each of us, it was a challenging moment of personal evaluation that cut right to the heart of many issues and relationships in our lives.
So in the spirit of seeking the light, below are the characteristics of each type of person. Take a moment and do your own self-reflection and ask “what kind of person have I been or am I now?”
Wise Person: When the light (truth) comes to them, they adjust themselves to the light, so who they are a person matches reality. In other words they seek and receive feedback and change themselves as a result.
Foolish Person: When the light (truth) comes their way, they try to adjust the light (deflect the truth) instead of changing themselves. When receiving feedback they deflect, blame and do not take responsibility for their own actions and performance.
Evil Person: When the light shines on them they want to destroy both the light and those that shine it. They have destruction in the hearts and want to retaliate against truth and those who share it.
The Beach or the Mountains, or the …?
I remember late night debates with friends about which were better – the mountains or the beach? At the heart of the debate was the romantic calling of the sea and the laid back life on the beach versus the adventure and majesty of the mountains. What both have in common is that they show the immense size and beauty of God’s creation while often creating existential crises because they make us feel so insignificant in their midst.
When pressed in those debates I always landed on mountains as my choice. But over the last 15 years my preference has slowly shifted. As our family traveled down to Myrtle Beach for spring break I posed the question to them – mountains or beaches? After a bit of discussion they asked my choice to which I answered – neither.
You see a couple of years ago I realized that my answer was now “C. None of the above”, though I still love and appreciate both (especially the beach after a long Michigan winter), my first choice has become, what I call, the great north woods, especially the forests and glades around the Great Lakes.
There is nothing I love more than a summer morning filled with the sweet smell of firs, pine and poplar combined with the coolness that the natural air conditioning of the Great Lakes provide, or watching the sunset over a spring fed lake or over the coast of Lake Michigan. I still love to watch white tail leap a fence or catch a trout in a lake or a stream.
There’s just so much that I love about great north woods, but in the end, I find the same majesty of the mountains and the same romantic calling of the sea but in an environment that’s personal, intimate and accessible. They have truly become my sanctuary.
What’s your favorite place?
One Step Closer to Dunking a Basketball
Our son Mitch just told my wife and I that he dunked a dodge ball for the first time yesterday. Dunking a basketball has been a goal of Mitch’s and yesterday’s feat was tangible evidence of his progress towards reaching his goal.
He was proud of his accomplishment because, as he said, “it takes lots of small steps to accomplish a goal and yesterday was one of those steps in me dunking a basketball.” Our 16-year-old understands a powerful reality about reaching goals – if we want to accomplish a difficult task or reach a challenging destination we need to break it down into achievable steps and patiently work our way through those steps.
This process of breaking down a goal, task or project into smaller steps does a number of important things that increases the odds we’ll reach our desired end.
First, it forces us to think through, plan and count the cost of all that needs to be done to ultimately accomplish a goal. Mitch knows there’s more work to be done if he’s ever going to compete in a slam dunk contest.
Second, if we ultimately don’t achieve our goal, we have the consolation of having improved and being in a better place than we were before we started. Yesterday Mitch jumped higher than ever before.
Finally, and maybe the best reason for breaking down our goals into manageable steps, is it creates many opportunities for small victories which give us confidence and motivation to keep going forward. Dunking a dodge ball is a small victory and it fired Mitch up to keep moving along his journey to achieving his goal of dunking a basketball.
What goal do you have that would become more achievable if you broke it down into smaller steps?
Funeral Perspective
I attended two funerals last week. I’ll admit I don’t like the reality of death. The Scriptures are clear – God created us to live forever. Instead death stole into the world, not as a welcomed friend, but as an enemy. So I have biblical support for my strong dislike of death.
But, though I despise death, I’ve come to appreciate funerals.
First, I appreciate funerals for the reasons we have them – they provide an opportunity to grieve our loss, to celebrate the life of a loved one, and to be with family and friends.
Yet there’s one more reason I’ve grown to appreciate funerals. It’s the serious perspective that can be gained, whether we like it or not, when we come face to face with death.
These funerals were for two very different people who died at two different places in their lives, one at the end of what we’d call a good long life, the other passed in mid-life. As I sat quietly in each service I asked myself two perspective giving questions. Each question had an eye on my potential funerals – one at the end of a long life and the other, more immanent, at mid – life.
The first question was simply “who’d be at my funeral and why”? The answer’s very revealing about the significance my life has had on others – whether it was positive, negative or neutral.
The second question is “what would be said about me?” Again the answer shines a needed light, showing what, if any, difference I made in the world. It also points to what I did or didn’t do with the gifts and abilities God gave me throughout my life.
So last week I not only attend two funerals, I had a needed perspective checkup on my life and how I’m living it.
