Marriage and Family

28 Years Ago Seems Like Yesterday

Today Denise and I celebrate our 28th wedding anniversary. When I write “28” it sounds like such a long time ago, but the truth is, our wedding day seems like it was just yesterday. They have been the best 28 years of my life because I’ve been married to the  best woman in the world who also happens to be the love of my life (a nice combination).

Earlier this summer a friend who was preparing to officiate her first wedding asked a number of us if we had any marriage advice she could use in her message to the bride and groom. Below is my answer, it’s simple but I believe it’s at the heart of why both Denise and I can happily, thankfully and joyfully celebrate 28 years of marriage today.

“Apart from trust, shared expectations about what life should look like and be like is the most important aspect of a happy and successful marriage. It seems when marriages struggle or don’t make it, much of the time (apart from broken trust) it’s because the two people have different expectations about such things as kids, standard of living, life style issues, or where to live (in the city, in the country or the “burbs”).  Many expectations also revolve around roles within a marriage. These need to be worked out as early as possible. When there’s different, unstated, or misunderstood expectations then there’s always missed expectations. When there’s missed expectations disappointment, dismay, a sense of compromise and then bitterness can easily follow.  It’s important in a marriage to have a clear understanding about each other’s expectations, a clear plan on how to work out the differences, and then grace as you live out your plan.”


  • Nancy & Neil Ebersoldt

    Denise & Mike,
    We remember that day very well. Since Nancy and I were there.
    Carol and Dave gave you a great act to follow. Just as I hope
    we have done also.
    Take care.
    Nancy and Neil
    PS-Thanks to Denise for the great tour of Spring Hill.

    • Michael Perry

      Thanks Nancy and Neil for the kind words. Yes mom and dad set a great example as I have no doubt you have as well. Sorry I couldn’t be there for your visit. Thanks for taking the time to do that.

  • In-House Counsel

    Solid wise advice! I wonder how many people posting on facebook or in their blogs about their dreamy soon to be wife or husband would post ANYTHING close to that! I actually think I might have….25 years ago….but would have included a sense of total conviction that I couldn’t bear the thought of not marrying him!

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