To be called by one’s name is to be known. And to be known is one of our deepest desires and most basic needs. This is why remembering and then greeting a person by name is so powerful and affirming.

As a follow-up to my last post (click here) the question is “how do we remember names when our memories can be so inadequate?” The following are some of the “secrets” I learned from Neil Atkinson and still use today to make this a reality.

First anyone can remember names. It just requires motivation. And part of the motivation is to do it for the right reasons – to know and affirm another person.

Second, when I meet someone for the first time I focus on their name and their face so I can connect the two.

Third, I intentionally use their name every chance I can in that first conversation. Repetition does wonders for the memory.

Fourth, I write down the person’s name and some features about them or the conversation that will help my recall. If I have a photo (we used year books in Young Life and today I use staff photos & become friends of Facebook) I will put their name and notes near their photo. There’s also software available that will help in this step.

Five, I will review these notes when it’s possible I will see that person again. This step also gives me an opportunity to pray for these new friends.

Finally I will use their name every time I see them.

This is all it takes to remember another person’s name. It requires the motivation, putting the other person first in your mind and a bit of discipline. The result will be that you will provide another person the experience of being known and thus affirmed. Not a bad outcome for a little memory exercise.

Now there was no “hey man” or “hey dude” or any other generic label used for a male high school sophomore. No, he used my name.

I respond with a thoughtful “not much” and kept on walking to my locker. As I walked on I remember thinking “this guy knows my name. I’ve only met him a couple of times and there are over 2000 students in this school and he remembers me.”

You see Neil was the Grand Rapids Area Director for Young Life and led the club at my high school and I had attended a couple of clubs as a freshman.

So guess what happened after that day in the hallway when Neil called my by name? I started attending Young Life every single week. This led to attending YL camp that summer and, as a result, seeing my life changed forever.

And I mean forever. Almost everything about my life’s been influenced by that camp experience and the decision I made to trust Christ with my life.

And it all started because Neil made the effort to not only know my name but to know it well enough to call me by it in a very public place.

Years later Neil trained me to be a volunteer Young Life leader where I learned his secrets to learning and remembering another person’s name. It’s a skill I continue to use and one that I pray has the same impact on others that it had on me that day in my high school hall way.

A few years ago on one of the Perry men’s annual Canadian fishing trips we deviated from tradition.

There’s a lake called Marianne we fish because we typically catch dozens of feisty Northern Pike. To get there requires crossing two lakes and taking two hikes through the Canadian wilderness while carrying our supplies.

This particular year we decided instead to drive over the old rutted logging trails to Marianne. I had done it once before so I was confident I would recognize which trails to take.

Three hours into a 30 minute drive we still had not found Marianne. I had a topographical map and instructions from our friend Craig Williams (ironically part of his instructions included discouraging us from driving).

I didn’t listen very well because I was confident we’d find Marianne with no problems.

Yet a number of times we’d arrive at a spot where I just knew Marianne had to be. I’d pull out my map and convinced myself that it had to be right there. When it wasn’t I’d tell the boys that it “might have dried up” or “been hidden by some trees” or some other foolish explanation.

This behavior is what experts call “bending the map.” It means to ignore reality and convince yourself that you are in the right place and that your map is wrong or the surroundings have changed (also called being lost).

“Bending the map” is trying to make reality fit what you want it to be instead of accepting it for what it is. It comes from stubbornness, pride, delusion or in my case simple optimism.

I’m often tempted to “bend the map”, to look at “the numbers” or a situation and believe it’s better than what it really is. It’s then that I have to remind myself of that three-hour tour of Canada so I can begin seeing things for what they are and then take the necessary action in face of true reality.

Are you bending any maps in your life? Don’t waste any more fishing time believing a false reality. Life is too short and there are too many fish to catch.

For the second time in four months I have had someone share these words with me – “Do what only you can do.”

When I hear the same thing multiple times from multiple people in a relatively short period of time I know I need to listen.

The most recent time I heard these words were from Bob Nienhuis, a good friend and chair of the SpringHill board. We were meeting to go through the annual feedback the board provides me on my job performance.

These words struck hard because I had just heard them a few months earlier.

The first time was when I was teaching our adult Sunday school class at our church. A member of our class, Christine Giesler, responded to my sharing of the struggle I was having finding the time to accomplish work I was convinced (and still am) that God wanted me to do.

Christine told me the same thing Bob had said, “Do what only you can do.” Then she added an additional bit of wisdom in an effort to help me move to this place.

She said, “I’m sure you’re doing a lot of good and important things. But many of these things are things that someone else could do. By holding them and not sharing them with others you are robbing them of the opportunity to share in these important responsibilities and it keeps you from doing what only you can do.”

I’m thankful for this great advice from Christine and the reminder of that same advice from Bob of the ongoing work I’m doing – the work of making sure that, day by day, week by week, I’m doing what only I can do for SpringHill, my family and ultimately for His Kingdom.

In spending time in the wilderness I’ve learned two ethical approaches to the impact one should have on the environment when spending time in it.

The first I learned as a Boy Scout. “Leave a place better than you found it.” This meant not only leaving no mark but also removing any marks left by others.

I’ve been thinking of these ethical approaches this week as Todd Leinberger and myself spent a couple of days at Mount Hermon Christian Conference Center located between San Jose and Santa Cruz, California in the heart of Redwood country. It’s obvious that Mount Hermon and the people of California have an ethic of preserving the beauty of this area.

As part of our visit we spend some time with Lisa Olson, current Mount Hermon executive who spent 22 years on staff at SpringHill. Over dinner I asked Lisa to look back over her tenure at SpringHill and share her proudest contribution.

She didn’t hesitate in answering. Her proudest contribution was that she and her husband Mark led SpringHill to a place where it could multiply itself, a process that took 15 years, resulting in the creation of our Indiana camp.

As I listened to Lisa I realized these two wilderness ethics represent the same ethical options we have when we are part of an organization, community or family.

Lisa and Mark Olson clearly lived out the “leave it better than we found it” ethic. For which I’m thankful.

For me I’m still a Boy Scout at heart. That’s why I too am committed to a “leaving a place better than I found it” ethic whether it’s my work at SpringHill, my volunteer roles in the community or more importantly in my relationships with my family and friends.

“Failure to plan is planning to fail”

“Plan your work and then work your plan”

I am a planner so these well-worn clichés are etched into my psyche.

This is why every Sunday I lay out a plan for the upcoming week integrating both the professional and personal parts of my life.

It’s a ritual I will not miss.

Here’s how I do it:

1. I review the previous week and see what was left undone and decide what to do with them (add them to the upcoming week, not do them at all, etc.).
2. I compile all the ideas, tasks and thoughts I’ve collected over the previous week and add them to my master Outlook Task List.
3. Next I look two to three weeks out in my calendar and add to my list any work I need to do to be ready for upcoming meetings and events. I will also resolve any scheduling issues.
4. I may block out time in my calendar to focus on an important task that requires quiet to do well.
5. Then I will print a pocket-size card of the tasks I’ve chosen to focus for the week. It stays with me (held in a Levenger “shirt pocket briefcase“) all the time. If my list doesn’t fit on a 3″ by 5” card then it’s too long.
6. Finally, each morning I will evaluate the previous day and then highlight the tasks that I want to achieve that day.

Simple enough yet when I don’t create a plan I feel as if I’m going through my week running with scissors.

When I do I enter each day with confidence that I know what I need to do to have a successful week.