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Posts tagged ‘Freedom’

The Joy and Suffering of Being Unplugged

There was a time when I unplugged for a 4 or 5 days every year. When I say unplugged, I mean having absolutely no access to both cell and internet service. It was on my annual fishing trips to northern Ontario. It was a place where the armies of cell and the internet service had not conquered. These were days of pure joy, peace, and freedom. Each year, I couldn’t wait to break away from my technology chain and be free. Of course, I love fishing, being in the wilderness and, most importantly, I love being with close friends and my boys. But looking back now, I realize, I also loved, and needed, to be disconnected from my digital tethers.  It was a technology fast or, better yet, a technology Sabbath, a needed cleansing break.

But, if you haven’t noticed, there is this onward, ambitious, hungry march of the technology army. First, the internet, then cell service conquered and now occupy my little piece of paradise. To be honest, most of the quests of this special place are thankful the modern world has finally arrived. It gives them flexibility, a peace of mind, and a way to juggle responsibilities back at home and office while being away.

But, as for me?

I fought the marching armies as long and as hard as I could.

At first, I pretended, and told others, I couldn’t be reached, stretching the truth a bit about the technologies available. But hiding from reality never lasts for long – the armies always expose you.  This happened to me during a trips over the past couple of years when a friend texted my wife, and then work peers started answering emails and making calls.  My cover was finally and completely blown. I couldn’t hide from this army anymore.

Like any effective invading army, there’s this slow but steady conquering of people’s hearts and minds. During these last few years, I’d become the proverbial frog in the kettle, slowly accepting and believing these armies are a necessary evil, believing it’s the way it’s supposed to be, even taking by faith that these armies are a good thing, that to be connected 24/7/365 is to be human.

Until two of my close friends and one of their sons and I went on a “fly-in” fishing trip.  If you don’t know a what a “fly-in” is, it’s when a float plane takes you to a remote lake where there are no roads or trails, no other access.  You can only get there by float plane.  You stay in a remote cabin (no electricity or running water).  You’re literally dropped off in the middle of no where and you stay until the floatplane picks you up.

And of course, there is no cell or internet service.  Which meant I was totally and completely unplugged for 4 days, 96 hours, for the first time in many years. I had found my temporary paradise once again, but not without a cost.  For it took me a good 24 hours to stop wanting to check my phone for incoming emails and text messages.  Those 24 hours were a bit challenging, creating some anxiety about all the life changing, important events I just knew I was missing out on.  The first night I even had some problems falling asleep.  During those first 24 hours, whenever the anxiety crept in (which was hourly), I spoke words like this to myself – “just enjoy it, nothing you can do” or “what can happen in a few days?”.  But what was most effective was simply praying “God, you’ve got this, I trust you,  all the people and situations at home don’t need me right now.”  The self talk was simply Jedi mind tricks, so it worked for a bit but didn’t solve the problem.  My prayer of admitting  reality – God is God and I am not, was the key of getting through the technology detox.

But once I made it through the first 24 hours,  I began to experience peace, the absence of anxiety that I haven’t experienced in a long time.  I felt as if I was finally free from the tethers of technology and could enjoy the people, the place, and experience we were having together.  In other words to enjoy those days as a rare and incredible gift.  It was so good that I committed to not becoming a slave again to my technology. But, instead,  to be its master when back in the “real” world.

Dallas Willard said in his book Spirit of the Disciplines “Until we enter quietness, the world still lays hold of us.”  On that weekend, I entered technology silence and was freed from it’s chains.  The glow of those 96 hours has stayed with me, but not without effort.  It’s a glow I want to keep, it’s the freedom from and mastery over this invading army.  But I now know it will require a regular dose of total and complete disconnection. Without it, the counter attack will continue the slow but steady march, and eventually I will be it’s prisoner again.

So, I encourage you, if you’ve been captured by the technology army.  Take a true, extended technology break.  It’ll feel like you’re dropping heavy chains you’ve been carrying so long you no longer notice they were there. But when you shed the chains, you’ll experience a peace and freedom that will be so good, you will never want to be technology’s prisoner again.

How to Get Unstuck when You’re Stuck in a Moment that You Can’t Get out of!

???????????????????????????????Sometimes I quote the chorus of the U2 song, “Stuck in a Moment You can’t Get Out of”, to my kids. They know exactly why I say it and what it means. It means if they feel stuck they need to find options. In other words I encourage them to never allow themselves to be stuck, handcuffed or trapped in a situation, place or relationship because they think they have no way out or no place to go.

You see the reality is when we’re “stuck in a moment and can’t get out of it” it’s almost always a state of mind, not the truth of our situation. And the more we feel stuck or trapped, the harder it is for us to see there could be alternatives. When we have options we’re not truly stuck, even if it feels that way. And, from my experience, we rarely have zero options.

So here are four things I’ve learned that help me get unstuck:

  1. Keep an open mind, always believe there’s another way, place or option. Don’t ever give up this belief.
  2. Think creatively. What may seem impossible is usually more possible than it looks at first glance.
  3. Seek out other perspectives from people not stuck in your moment. They often see the options more clearly and quickly than we do.
  4. Don’t seek input from those stuck with you. They’ll only reinforce your sense of having no options.

Remember your options will most likely be less than perfect. You’re not trying to find nirvana, just someplace better than your current situation. Think of it as just one step to a better place along a path to the best place.

And here’s how it all works – when you identify your options, you now have a choice. By definition, having a choice means you’re free, and when you’re free you’re no long stuck in a moment you can’t get out of.

Two Lessons from Beauty and the Beast

Without a doubt my favorite Disney movie of all time is Beauty and the Beast. So it thrilled me when the school our kids attend, Northern Michigan Christian School, decided to perform it for its spring musical.

The performance was this past weekend and it was inspiring to watch our son Mitch as Gaston, along with many of his school mates, act and sing so masterfully. The entire cast, directors and orchestra did an incredible job. Watching it twice wasn’t enough.

Though the story isn’t perfect, as I watched it again, I remembered why Beauty and the Beast became my favorite Disney movie. It’s because it communicates two valuable lessons about the realities of life.

The first one is the most obvious, it’s the warning not to judge another person by their appearance, because what’s on the inside a person is more important than what is on the outside.

The second lesson, admittedly more clearly communicated in the stage version, is the fact that our decisions and actions always have serious ramifications for those around us. We don’t live on islands. It’s best expressed when Cogsworth, the talking clock, asks “why did we have to get involved in all this spell business? It’s not like we’re the ones who threw the old hag out of the castle.”

It’s this second lesson that’s the most uncomfortable for us to face. You see, we want our personal freedom but we don’t want to believe our choices impact those around us, because if they do, then we’d have to choose between our own desires and the welfare of others. And the fact is, we place a higher value on our freedom of choice than on the good of others. So we too often try to ignore this inconvenient connection between our actions and their impact on those around us. But it’s a truth we can’t escape.

And it’s a truth so clearly and compellingly communicated in Beauty and the Beast, and one we all desperately need to take to heart.

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