• Living as a Leader,  Marriage and Family

    How to Get Unstuck when You’re Stuck in a Moment that You Can’t Get out of!

    ???????????????????????????????Sometimes I quote the chorus of the U2 song, “Stuck in a Moment You can’t Get Out of”, to my kids. They know exactly why I say it and what it means. It means if they feel stuck they need to find options. In other words I encourage them to never allow themselves to be stuck, handcuffed or trapped in a situation, place or relationship because they think they have no way out or no place to go.

    You see the reality is when we’re “stuck in a moment and can’t get out of it” it’s almost always a state of mind, not the truth of our situation. And the more we feel stuck or trapped, the harder it is for us to see there could be alternatives. When we have options we’re not truly stuck, even if it feels that way. And, from my experience, we rarely have zero options.

    So here are four things I’ve learned that help me get unstuck:

    1. Keep an open mind, always believe there’s another way, place or option. Don’t ever give up this belief.
    2. Think creatively. What may seem impossible is usually more possible than it looks at first glance.
    3. Seek out other perspectives from people not stuck in your moment. They often see the options more clearly and quickly than we do.
    4. Don’t seek input from those stuck with you. They’ll only reinforce your sense of having no options.

    Remember your options will most likely be less than perfect. You’re not trying to find nirvana, just someplace better than your current situation. Think of it as just one step to a better place along a path to the best place.

    And here’s how it all works – when you identify your options, you now have a choice. By definition, having a choice means you’re free, and when you’re free you’re no long stuck in a moment you can’t get out of.

  • Leadership,  Living as a Leader

    Treating People Badly – What Could Cause Me to Lose My Job? Part 6

    ??????????????????????As I wrote in my last post, not actively listening to others will eventually lead to a person failing in their job. One of the major reasons is that a person who doesn’t listen or attempt to understand others will ultimately end up mistreating people.

    Why is this true? Because not actively listening to others means we won’t truly know and understand a person’s motives, thinking or perspective. Without listening it’s impossible to understand who they are and where they’ve come from as people. When this happens it’s easy to slip into thinking of people as “cogs”, “parts” or “resources” and not as individuals.

    Now take a moment to think about how we treat things such as cogs, parts, and resources. Don’t we use, leverage, manage, drain, control, and abuse them if it advances our agenda? Such behavior and attitudes may be ethically acceptable for inanimate objects but they are clearly wrong when it comes to people. Treating people as things is simply mistreatment of people.

    And mistreat of people is obviously unacceptable for those who want to make an enduring and positive impact on both the lives of others and the world.

    So to avoid slipping into this pattern of seeing and treating people as things we need to lead through relationships because relationships requires listening and listening leads to understanding. And when we understand others we’ll treat them for who they truly are – people created by and in the image of God.

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