One More Time on Calling
Jack McQueeney my favorite Navigator friend knows his call. “Need doesn’t always constitute a call.” Dawson Trotman, founder of The Navigators.
The needs of others don’t always equal a calling to meet those needs.
But our calling always includes meeting the needs of others.
This is why calling can be so confusing.
And it’s also why calling can be so dangerous.
It’s confusing because it’s easy to believe, either as an individual or as an organization, that we can and should address all the needs of all the people all the time. It’s a positive impulse but it’s misdirected because when we try to meet all the needs of all the people all the time we end up unable to meet hardly any needs of any one anytime.
Calling requires knowing that we are not God and thus can’t meet all the needs of all the people all of the time and trusting Him to enlist others to do what we can’t and are not called to do.
Calling is always focused on specific people and their specific needs. At SpringHill we’re called to serve children, teens and young adults. This is not to say adults don’t have needs that SpringHill can meet or that adults are less important than children. No it’s simply that we’re called and equipped to serve young people. We trust that God has called others to serve adults.
Calling can be dangerous when we have the ability but don’t meet the needs of the individuals God has placed in our lives. It’s when we use our calling as an excuse for not doing something that we put ourselves at serious risk.
What’s the risk? Think of Jesus’ parable in Luke 16:19-31. A rich man walks daily right by a poor beggar named Lazarus without lifting a finger to meet any of Lazarus’ needs. What’s the consequence for the rich man’s inaction? He goes to Hell and he never escapes.
Now the rich man didn’t end up in Hell for ignoring all poor beggars in the world just the one in his life. And that is what separates needs from calling. The needs of the one beggar in our life is our calling, the many needs may not.
Are You Waiting for Your Calling?
Since my last post “Opportunity Does Not Equal Calling” I’ve had a number of conversations with people who’ve grown weary of waiting for their calling.
So I’ve thought it would be good to explore what it means to wait for one’s calling.
In my previous post I stated that “calling comes to all people”. But if this is true then why are so many waiting for theirs?
I think it’s because we look at calling too narrowly. We typically think of it just in terms of vocation.
But there are other callings which, frankly, are higher and more important than our vocational calling.
The highest calling is to trust Jesus Christ with our lives and to follow Him. We’ve all been given this call so the good news (no pun intended) there’s no waiting.
The next call’s to each other, to “love one another” beginning with our family, friends and neighbors both near and far. Because many of these people are present in our lives we’re blessed to be called now.
The third call is to be good stewards of all we’ve been given. There is no waiting to receive this call either; for example if you are breathing (which means you’ve been given the gift of life) you’re officially called to be a steward.
Finally there’s this frustrating vocational calling. Vocation is the work we do, the part we play in the world.
Now it’s here that we often feel we’re waiting because we sense our work isn’t what it should or could be. So why do we wait for this calling? I’ve a couple of theories which given me perspective while I’ve waited.
First a vocation requires training and preparation. Maybe what we’re doing now is part of our preparation?
Second we tend to glamorize vocational calling, thinking it’s the highest calling. But the truth it’s really less important than the other ones. So maybe we have work to do in those first three callings?
So if you are waiting for your vocational calling remember you are already called in the highest ways. Be at peace and when you least expect it this final calling will come at precisely the right moment.
Opportunity Does Not Equal Calling
Opportunity is what you can do. Calling is what you must do. That’s a big difference. Yet it’s easy to confuse the two. I should know I’ve done it enough.
Opportunity comes only to those people and organizations others see as successful. Thus it feeds the one thing, pride, which can cloud vision and makes a decision about an opportunity nearly impossible.
Calling comes to all people and organizations. But callings are different for different people and different organizations. So it doesn’t naturally feed one’s ego but it instead requires faithfulness and obedience.
Opportunity comes regardless of capabilities. Calling always matches gifts and abilities.
Opportunity offers something that is apparent to many.
Calling requires going to places and doing things never imagined before or if it has then it’s considered foolish.
The quality of the opportunity’s measured by return on investment in that opportunity.
The quality of calling is measure by the passion one brings to the calling they’re given (click here for my post on passion).
Opportunity is generic. It doesn’t design itself to fit a person or an organization.
Calling is personal and specific thus unique.
Opportunities tend to be short-term.
Calling is almost always long-term.
Opportunity provides no moral or ethical boundaries.
Calling requires the highest good and the greatest benefit to others and God’s Kingdom.
Can opportunity and calling be for the same thing? Of course they can, at least on the surface, but if it’s true a calling then it’s not a true opportunity because opportunities, by definition, present equal alternatives – to take the opportunity or not.
Calling at the end of the day provides only one true alternative – to answer the call.
Be flattered by opportunities, if you must, but just for a moment.
Be always thankful for a calling because it’s a gift from God just for you.
How to Remember a Person’s Name
To be called by one’s name is to be known. And to be known is one of our deepest desires and most basic needs. This is why remembering and then greeting a person by name is so powerful and affirming.
As a follow-up to my last post (click here) the question is “how do we remember names when our memories can be so inadequate?” The following are some of the “secrets” I learned from Neil Atkinson and still use today to make this a reality.
First anyone can remember names. It just requires motivation. And part of the motivation is to do it for the right reasons – to know and affirm another person.
Second, when I meet someone for the first time I focus on their name and their face so I can connect the two.
Third, I intentionally use their name every chance I can in that first conversation. Repetition does wonders for the memory.
Fourth, I write down the person’s name and some features about them or the conversation that will help my recall. If I have a photo (we used year books in Young Life and today I use staff photos & become friends of Facebook) I will put their name and notes near their photo. There’s also software available that will help in this step.
Five, I will review these notes when it’s possible I will see that person again. This step also gives me an opportunity to pray for these new friends.
Finally I will use their name every time I see them.
This is all it takes to remember another person’s name. It requires the motivation, putting the other person first in your mind and a bit of discipline. The result will be that you will provide another person the experience of being known and thus affirmed. Not a bad outcome for a little memory exercise.
Calling a Person by Name
Neil Atkinson I remember my sophomore year at East Kentwood High School walking down the senior hall way and a guy named Neil was standing at the turn to the sophomore lockers. As I approached Neil gave me this big smile and said “Hi Mike what’s up?”Now there was no “hey man” or “hey dude” or any other generic label used for a male high school sophomore. No, he used my name.
I respond with a thoughtful “not much” and kept on walking to my locker. As I walked on I remember thinking “this guy knows my name. I’ve only met him a couple of times and there are over 2000 students in this school and he remembers me.”
You see Neil was the Grand Rapids Area Director for Young Life and led the club at my high school and I had attended a couple of clubs as a freshman.
So guess what happened after that day in the hallway when Neil called my by name? I started attending Young Life every single week. This led to attending YL camp that summer and, as a result, seeing my life changed forever.
And I mean forever. Almost everything about my life’s been influenced by that camp experience and the decision I made to trust Christ with my life.
And it all started because Neil made the effort to not only know my name but to know it well enough to call me by it in a very public place.
Years later Neil trained me to be a volunteer Young Life leader where I learned his secrets to learning and remembering another person’s name. It’s a skill I continue to use and one that I pray has the same impact on others that it had on me that day in my high school hall way.
“What Would My Life Look Like If….?” Part 3
I’ve been less than enthusiastic about working through my second “what would my life look like if…?” question. But it’s a question I’ve been confronted with on many levels over the last year so I’m compelled to deal with it.Remember the second question is “what would my life look like if I committed to attending every funeral and wedding and visit the hospital for colleagues, friends and family? What would my life look like if I was really there for them in those times?”
This question raises the same issue I worked through with my exercise and eating right question. I’m a busy person so if I really want to I can always find a reason not to a attend funeral, wedding or visit the hospital.
But there is a difference between the two questions (know I’m being transparent here). I can see personal benefit in the exercise and eating right question but in this second question, on the surface, I see no real personal gain.
This is why I’ve been so convicted because it deals with my self centeredness. If I’m to be the person Christ has called me to be then I need to look beyond myself, to do and live for things that matter to others not just matter to me.
And who is that person? One who loves others more than the stuff on a to-do list and so endeavors to be a part of these important moments of their lives. And if I believe this is the kind of person Christ has called me to be then I need to trust that He will help take care of my to-do list.
So I’m committing myself to attending as many of these important events as I possibly can with the prayer that somehow it will be a blessing to others.
“What Would My Life Look Like If….?” Part 2
First question I’ve decided to deal with on vacation is “What would my life look like if I got back to a regular exercise routine and eating better no matter my schedule?”
I chose it first because it’s the easiest of the two questions I’m mulling over this week.
It’s easy because as I thought of the benefits to doing regular exercise and eating right I really have no good reason, just excuses, for not getting back to my exercise and eating routine.
Any reason I’ve come up with (and I’ve used them all over the last 6 months) have to do with the many seemingly “important” things scheduled during any given week.
So without repeating all the obvious reasons we all know for why we should exercise and eat right I will share with you just two that have convicted me to get back on track.
First, any short-term gain in time or convenience I have by not taking care of myself quickly robs me of needed energy in the short-term as well as hurts my health in the long run. The payoff for exercising and eating right is both immediate and long-term. When I picture my life both now and in the future I like the way it looks when I’ve taken care of myself.
Finally I just can’t get over that fact that God has given me a healthy body. I have or had no major illnesses or injuries. This is a gift from God and I feel a strong sense of responsibility to care for my body much more than I have. It’s a matter of stewardship and I’ve been a poor steward over the last 6 months.
So starting now I will make time in my schedule for exercise and make sure I make accommodations that allow me to eat right. It’s a change that will make my life look more as it should be.
“What Would My Life Look Like If…?”
When I’m on vacation I like to ask myself a series of “what would my life look like if…” questions. These are questions that, in theory, should help me live better and be more fruitful for the Kingdom.
For example I might ask “what would my life look like if I read a book a week for the next year?” or “what would my life look like if I quit eating junk food?”
Then I go about my vacation thinking and praying about each question by looking at the “upside” and the “downside” that each potential reality would create in my life. Sometimes I will write out a list but most often I just try to create a mental picture of what my life might look like with any of the potential changes.
I will also pray about each question while running with Denise, going for a walk or sitting by the pool. I ask God for His direction and guidance.
Then sometime during the week I will make a decision. I may pass on the change because the cost seems too high or I just don’t think it’s realistic with other things I’m doing at the moment.
If I decide to move forward, I will write down my commitment and then work out a plan. If I say yes then I want it to become a reality in my life.
This vacation’s two questions?
“What would my life look like if I got back to a regular exercise routine and eating better no matter my schedule?”
“What would my life look like if I committed to attending every funeral and wedding and visit the hospital for colleagues, friends and family? What would my life look like if I was really there for them in those times?”
Over my next two posts I will share my reflections and my answers to these questions.
Space for Making Vision a Reality
The SpringHill leadership team has learned the importance and the formula for creating space for the planning necessary to make our vision a reality.
Our team just came out of such as space where we completed some good work thinking through our future organizational needs and design in light of our current (and expected) ministry growth.
What does this space look like for us?
- It starts with a smart and committed team of people with shared values and vision.
- To this end, as part of our day, we have dinner together just so we can hang out and catch up.
- We meet at an off-site location that can inspire new thoughts or perspectives. Today was at a friend’s home on Lake Michigan
- We do a lot of pre-work to assure the information, ideas, and the direction needed for the meeting are in people’s hands long enough for them to prepare.
- During our time together we assure everyone has the opportunity to speak and then we all listen.
- We use flip chart sheets so our ideas can be posted in front of us during the meeting.
- Assure an action plan’s created so our thinking becomes action.
- We meet once a month so the work doesn’t get lost or stalled.
- We always approach this process as an act of discovery.
- We pray together asking Christ to lead us where we ought to go and keep us from where we shouldn’t be.
If you lead a team or just lead yourself, create space to dream, plan and look ahead. You and your team will benefit greatly and the world will be a bit better as a result.
The Bittersweet Taste of Transition
Our oldest son, MD, just informed us that he’s been offered a very good summer job with his school Calvin College. This means he’ll not be home for the summer.
Which also now means, for all practical purposes, he’s left home and will only be back to visit.
Denise and I knew this would happen at some point when we dropped him off in September for his freshman year. We just didn’t think it would be so soon. We figured he would be back for one more summer, maybe two.
It’s a transition we wanted and knew would be coming. We’ve raised him, as we’re raising our other kids, to become an independent adult who will make a difference for Christ’s Kingdom in this world.
So we are proud that he’s been offered this opportunity for the summer. It’s sweet because it’s right in line with his goals and our dreams for him. But it’s also bitter because it means his life is no longer centered in our home in Evart.
This is what makes every transition bittersweet. Transition means leaving things behind, to move past what was – which can be bitter. But transition also offers the hope of growth and renewal – which is sweet.
The question Denise and I have to answer is “which of these two sides of transition do we embrace?”
Well you know the answer – we are going to celebrate MD’s summer job. We’re going to be thankful for all the good decisions MD has made, his hard work, his commitment to Christ and the opportunities these have provided for further growth in his life.
There is no denying that transition is bittersweet but it’s our choice which side of the flavor we embrace.
